Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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