I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
