It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
