I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Success! We fucked roommates!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
