We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
