Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can text with my tongue
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
