just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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