Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
