I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
