i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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