i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
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Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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