I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
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I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
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Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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