I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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