I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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