fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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