I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
