He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
