We're facebook friends in real life
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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