Can Purell be used as lube?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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