I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
