I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
