dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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