I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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