it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
