Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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