i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i think i just lost a toe
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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