did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
