Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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