and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
