Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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