Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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