She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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