nut hugger
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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