he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
