Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
