Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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