Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize