Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
