to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Congratulations! We have a period
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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