on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
