Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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