I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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