I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
