did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
