In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
