this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
