Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
