I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
