I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
