I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
