Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
