every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
