He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
