Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
