How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
