so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
