I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
