Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
