Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize