i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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