Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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